Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
