she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
