Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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