glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
