Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
