I'm eating all of the evidence.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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