no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
