just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize