Screwed.edu
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
