Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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