i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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