So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
