come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
