Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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