I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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