Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Enjoy the penises
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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