y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
