What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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