did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
