I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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