This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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