fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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