No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
