A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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