I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
