I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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