The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
