Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize