Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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