I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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