if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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