Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
