After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
