sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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