This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i barfeds in our rink
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
