Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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