You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
