We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
