I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
