if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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