i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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