Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
