So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
