My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
