You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
