I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
