whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
