glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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