Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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