i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
