my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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