i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
