I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
