i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
