i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
