i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
