Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
