When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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