Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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