like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
