my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why did my mother make you get naked?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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