Sry I called you an 8
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize