I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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