Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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