dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I forget how to act sober
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
